Sunday, February 17, 2019

Evoking Change

Unlike a model of coaching where clients set behavioral goals and go about achieving them -- while the coach acts as cheerleader, guide, and sometimes hall monitor -- evocative coaching involves playful surrender, staying present to patterns with open curiosity, observing what shows up without judgment. The coach and the client go wherever the process leads without the need to follow rules or control outcomes.

We find our authentic selves by becoming mindful of the layers of perceptions, thoughts, and feelings that make up personality--the idealized self
Style 1: "I'm right and can fix it."
Style 2: "I'm helpful, intuit your needs."
Style 3: "I'm successful, make things happen."
Style 4: "I'm unique, appreciate aesthetics."
Style 5: "I'm perceptive, seek knowledge."
Style 6: "I'm loyal, the glue that holds the team together."
Style 7: "I'm fun, always see the bright side."
Style 8: "I'm powerful and responsible."
Style 9: "I'm easygoing, get along with others."
When these fixations become the standard for measuring self, emphasis shifts from being to appearing, filtering in only what is congruent with the image. Our primary concern becomes not what we feel, but whether we're safe. Overriding genuine feelings, wishes, and thoughts, we must instead:
Style 1: ". . . correct what's wrong."
Style 1: ". . . take care of others."
Style 3: ". . . keep busy and get results."
Style 4: ". . . point out what's missing."
Style 5: ". . . stand back, observe, understand."
Style 6: ". . . uncover potential problems."
Style 7: ". . . accentuate the positive."
Style 8: ". . . take charge and seek control."
Style 9: ". . . merge with others' agendas, forget my own."

See also: