Evocative Coaching

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For years I searched for an alternative to describing my work as "life coaching." There are countless people calling themselves life coaches, some apparent stars. Not that I don't admire success, or scads of money, but I do wonder if the "better" life some coaches promise belongs to the maya category (all is illusion). Efforts, in other words, to satisfy clients' egos.

Then I read about a Clinton Presidential staff retreat, with Jean Houston as one of the facilitators. Houston's self-description, also shared in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, struck me at first as hilariously theatrical:

"I would call myself an evocateur of the possible, and a midwife of souls." Dr. Jean Houston.

Sometimes my laughter and immediate rejection of an idea are defenses against taking a risk. Sure enough, I couldn't stop thinking about evocateur. Too grandiose, too foreign, too too . . . yet somehow edgy and intriguing. Out of curiosity I played around at the online Thesaurus and Dictionary. 

As expected, life coaches are described as "helping people to make changes in their lives, to learn new ways of coping, and to function at their maximum potential." Ho hum. 

Some synonyms: expert, consultant, guide, counselor, mentor, partner, confidant... and in a lighter mode, kibitzer. At the more directive end, I like buttinski. 

Evocateur doesn't appear in either source, but I found evocator and this is my synthesis:

"Through artistry and imagination, evocators call forth a vision of transformed reality, elicit passion, and summon others into action."

The synonyms for evocator tend to derive from prophet, including predictor, forecaster, oracle, reader, diviner, clairvoyant, seer, soothsayer, and witch. I admit to all, on occasion.

Following this thread, I googled evocateur. The first hit was Jean Houston's site, where this description expands on my synthesis above:

"The times of great change and remarkable opportunity are upon us... we can no longer go it alone, but must partner... to share innovative and creative ways in which to rethink and restructure our individual existence within the context of our expanding global communities. To do this requires a heightened awareness, an awakened sense of purpose, and a dedicated commitment to actively seek out the possible."

Evocateur went too far for me, but more and more I liked the intimations of evocator and coined (I thought) evocative coaching. I've  found only one use of the term in Evocative Coaching: Transforming Schools One Conversation at a Time, a "teacher-centered, no-fault, strengths-based approach to performance improvement."

Their principles for school transformation are the same as those I recommend for Enneagram coaching, based on consciousness (self-awareness), connection (high- trust relationships), competence (celebrate clients' abilities), contribution (honor client's input), and creativity (openness to change, in a flow state) as described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl: "During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life."

See also:

Evocative Enneagram Stories  &  Self-Coaching Tips 

My Books at Amazon.com

Evoking Change

Unlike a model of coaching where clients set behavioral goals and go about achieving them -- while the coach acts as cheerleader, guide, and sometimes hall monitor -- evocative coaching involves playful surrender, staying present to patterns with open curiosity, observing what shows up without judgment. The coach and the client go wherever the process leads without the need to follow rules or control outcomes.

We find our authentic selves by becoming mindful of the layers of perceptions, thoughts, and feelings that make up personality--the idealized self: 

Style 1: "I'm right and can fix it."
Style 2: "I'm helpful, intuit your needs."
Style 3: "I'm successful, make things happen."
Style 4: "I'm unique, appreciate aesthetics."
Style 5: "I'm perceptive, seek knowledge."
Style 6: "I'm loyal, the glue that holds the team together."
Style 7: "I'm fun, always see the bright side."
Style 8: "I'm powerful and responsible."
Style 9: "I'm easygoing, get along with others."

When these fixations become the standard for measuring self, emphasis shifts from being to appearing, filtering in only what is congruent with the image. Our primary concern becomes not what we feel, but whether we're safe. Overriding genuine feelings, wishes, and thoughts, we must instead:

Style 1: ". . . correct what's wrong."
Style 1: ". . . take care of others."
Style 3: ". . . keep busy and get results."
Style 4: ". . . point out what's missing."
Style 5: ". . . stand back, observe, understand."
Style 6: ". . . uncover potential problems."
Style 7: ". . . accentuate the positive."
Style 8: ". . . take charge and seek control."
Style 9: ". . . merge with others' agendas, forget my own."

See also:

Evocative Enneagram Stories  &  Self-Coaching Tips 

My Books at Amazon.com

Untying the Knots

My client, Walter Frazier, was an innovative, idealistic leader. He held high standards for himself, his employees, and the company, but he was losing people's respect because of the angry tirades he unleashed whenever he was disappointed with the quality of someone's work. Walter came to me only for help in managing his anger. It would have been easy enough to coach him on how to use anger-management techniques. But my questions ran deeper: Why did he feel so much anger? How could I coach him to break out of the worldview that kept reinforcing his perfectionism? When I led him to this deeper level, he learned how to interrupt the inner patterns of processing information that made him angry. He became less harshly judgmental and his underlying anger began to dissipate. I was able to help him accomplish this shift because of the Enneagram’s power as a coaching tool.  

Most people acknowledge how important it is to act in accord with their internal needs and values. But they're often out of touch with their deepest motivations, behaving instead according to who they think they are, playing familiar roles and piling up trophies from their worldly successes. Often, the very characteristics that propelled them to reach personally important goals now get in their way. People like Walter who are idealistic and quality-minded standard-setters, for example, may find their perfectionism and inability to delegate effectively prevent them from achieving their real goals.  

When we started working together, Walter held a filtered view of how the world should work. Your clients may want to shore up the crumbling mortar of their personality styles when their usual coping strategies fail them, seeking help on how to make more money, quit feeling anxious, change to a more enjoyable job, or find a new boss/lover/spouse. As with Walter, coaching can take clients beyond their immediate requests to what they really want and often urgently need—a way to break “out of the box” of their habitual perspectives and reactions to the world. 

The Enneagram is a brilliant diagnostic tool to identify nine different ways of viewing the world, each of which has a common set of patterns. When your clients know these patterns and how to interrupt them, they'll consistently experience long-term, profound changes. If you do not yet know the Enneagram, click here for brief descriptions and follow the links that attract you.

(From Chapter 1 of Out of the Box Coaching with the Enneagram)