Implicit and Covert Factors in Contracting

On Monday, January 7, 2019, my dear friend and mentor on my PhD committee at the University of Cincinnati, Dr. Leonard Oseas, passed away. In tribute to Len I want to explain how he changed the way I think.

My dissertation explored "The Status Dimension in Helping Relationships" with a focus on O.D. (organizational development) consulting, where "consultants have been perplexed by the difficulty in achieving collaborative relationships with clients." O.D. clients typically work in hierarchical organizations based on an authority structure, and are not necessarily used to collaborating.

The desired outcome from the consultant's perspective is for clients to be able to solve their own problems, and social science theory suggests this can only be brought about through consultant/client collaboration.

However, my research suggested that "collaboration is difficult to achieve because it runs counter to social structure, to role expectations, and to personality characteristics that elicit dominance-submission. Collaboration as a value tends to lead consultants to insist on collaboration, which reinforces their dominance.  Furthermore, this communication ('You will collaborate') is paradoxical to clients. If they 'collaborate' by going along with the consultant, they will be praised for in fact doing as they are told; if they choose not to collaborate they will be negatively labeled ('resistance') for self-initiated action. No wonder our clients seem confused!"

From the pages of my dissertation featuring Oseas' unpublished manuscript, "Implicit and Covert Factors in Contracting," University of Cincinnati, 1976:

"...it is Shapiro's hypothesis that at the implicit level the 'child' of each makes a primary contract with the 'parent' of each. 

Issues of power and influence become very central in the actual human contracts formed, despite the legal, business or social forms of these contracts. (Shapiro, 1968: 175)

"On the above point Oseas goes so far as to say:

Despite rhetoric to the contrary, the helping contract cannot be an agreement between equals... When it is based on the unequal distribution of expertise, a relationship of legitimate dependency on the more expert member is both fair and sensible (p. 3).

"Oseas attributes this 'fair and sensible' inequality to the natural feelings of inadequacy and self-recrimination accompanying the decision to seek professional help. In part, then, he sees the obstacles to achieving parity as arising from client characteristics. In citing the O.D. literature on contracts, Oseas observes the stated desire to make the terms of the consultant-client agreement explicit, guaranteeing against the abuse of  authority. He points out, however, that not all matters important to the agreement can be made explicit, some being only dimly perceived as relevant and others being so deeply ingrained as to be nonnegotiable.

"In the context of norms and values, Oseas discusses the impact of disparities between consultant and client. The consultant values openness, risk-taking, emotional expressivity, and collaboration, toward which the client's reservations are likely to remain unexpressed. Thus a given of the implicit contract 'to which the client's diffidence appears to be giving tacit approval' is that 'faulty norms will invariably be found at the root of the client's difficulties' (p. 10). The terms of this implicit contract would require the client's norms to be relinquished in favor of the consultant's, a difficult contract to be fulfilled:

... compliance... would require them to discard behavior that is habitual and constantly reinforced; that stabilizes their organizational world; that has the sanction of authority in the organization; that earns them meaningful rewards; and thus is a condition of their being members-in-good-standing of the groups that matter to them (p. 11).

"Oseas concludes that collaboration of these two 'systems' requires that each maintain its integrity. The explicit terms of the contract must, therefore, be perceived as consistent with the ingrained habits and beliefs of each."

*     *     *

Conversations with Dr. Leonard Oseas that expanded my thinking about how best to consult with clients have influenced my entire career and every coaching book I've written. So, Len's ideas about implicit and covert factors in contracting have been published.

Leading with Integrity: A Workshop for Women

(Co-developed with Mary Pierce Brosmer -- poet, teacher, founder of Women Writing for (a) Change)

The model of an ordinary successful life that is held up for young people is one of early decision and commitment... that launches a single, rising trajectory... these assumptions have not been valid for many of history's most creative people, and they are increasingly inappropriate today... Composing a life involves a continual re-imagining of the future and reinterpretation of the past to give meaning to the present, remembering best those events that prefigured what followed. (Mary Catherine Bateson, Composing a Life)

The purpose of this racially integrated women's leadership retreat was twofold:

1. To highlight the common root of "integrity" and "integration" -- honoring leadership as a balance of creative, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional qualities.
2. To model for younger, less experienced women that leadership can be learned and each leadership style has gifts and opportunities for growth.

"Generating my own words, listening to those of many women," wrote my co-leader Mary Brosmer in a pre-reading, "I am changed each moment."

The following objectives were listed in our brochure:

After completing the workshop, you will be able to:

• utilize writing as a tool for self-exploration,
• engage in techniques to help you better integrate your inner life and outer action,
• use the Enneagram to better understand your own and others' leadership styles,
• develop action plans to help you effectively lead with integrity,
• address your personal areas of interest about being an effective leader.

We started the retreat by asking participants to form a circle as we introduced the theme of uniting reflection and action, quoting from Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

Traditionally, human rights movements in the Americas since the 1940s -- those led by Dorothy Day, Martin Luther King, Los Cofrades in Guatemala, and others -- have relied on the paradigm wherein valuation of inner life and that of outer action are held together as a single thought. These together enable one to make a potent motion in the world. Satyagraha, as Ghandi called it, is the power of oldest knowing and just action woven together... these constitute a trans-psychic truth that fires not just personal action, but more so, calls the soul to action; the fierce, image-making soul. ("Face Into the Wind... Protect the Flame," Charlene Sieg's interview with Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Psychological Perspectives, Issue 18, 1993).

Each women stepped into the circle with the intention to make space for her own hopes of the retreat, as well as what she might receive that is different from what she expected. After an introduction about the power of storytelling to teach us something about our own lives, participants heard from a panel of six women executives, representing six of the nine Enneagram styles. Each member of the panel told a personal story that described a growth opportunity that taught her to be a better leader and a more integrated human being. Women in the audience were asked to note for later discussion, "What one image, phrase, or story struck you in some way, either as something you resonate with or that strikes a dissonant chord in you?"

*     *     *

The women on the panel had met before the workshop with Mary Pierce Brosmer for a writing session. Their stories below are both inspiring and reflective of the pain they experienced in their own growth as leaders.

For Karen, Enneagram style Eight, we read from Elinor Wylie's poem, "Madman's Song:"

Better to see your cheek grown hollow,
Better to see your temple worn
Than to forget to follow, follow,
After the silver horn.

We introduced Karen with a quote from Kathleen Nobel's The Sound of a Silver Horn: "Nobel argues that we have no good female models in our culture's heroic myths. Style Eight's take charge quality seems a natural fit with the heroic. How has this shown up in your life?"

Karen: "As a young manager in a large corporation, I was only the second woman to have a position at this level of responsibility, and I was supervising twelve technicians on several different shifts. I was given no management training and didn't feel comfortable asking for help. Besides, my boss had no personnel skills at all. I was very forthright in my style and not naturally disposed to be sensitive to others. I remember in particular how I laid into a subordinate after only hearing one side of the story from someone else. That was my turnaround as a leader -- the experience of empathy with someone I'd written off!"

*    *    * 

To Alice, Enneagram style Nine, we quoted from Denise Levertov's "Variation on a Theme by Rilke:"

A certain day became a presence to me;

... it leaned over

and struck my shoulder as if with

the flat of a sword...

--or it was I, a bell awakened,

and what I heard was my whole self

saying and singing what it knew: I can.

"It is our experience with style Nine," we said to Alice (both Marys co-leading the workshop are Nines), "that when we awaken to ourselves it really is a 'wake-up call,' very dramatic and sometimes even scary. Tell us about the experience of awakening to yourself."

Alice: "I was recovering from alcohol addiction and working at A.A. I saw a lot of women in recovery who were looking for a place to live and who had many other barriers to overcome, such as caring for small children on their own. I realized how lucky I was to have economic security and a strong female support group, so I helped form a nonprofit corporation to provide housing for these women. This was very difficult for me. I had to learn how to go out and talk to people about money while NOT succumbing to BIG money -- companies that would have wanted to control what we did. Because I felt a sense of belonging and appreciation for the group I was part of, I was able to become an advocate for women, speaking out in ways I'd never done before." 

*    *    *

Mary Oliver's poem "Wild Geese," was our introduction to Harriet, the woman on our panel representing Enneagram style One:

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting...

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

We reminded the audience (who'd read about the nine Enneagram styles before the workshop) of the message Ones receive as children, that they do have to be "good." Subsequently they carry an internal voice that says they need to be perfect. Of Harriet we asked, "How has the search for the highest quality played out for you?"

Harriet: I was hired away from a successful medical practice to supervise the final stages of development of a cancer drug for a company seeking FDA approval. I felt I could really help make a difference in the world, but was appalled to discover their methods of data collection and coding had been very sloppy. I assumed everyone on my staff would have the same sense of urgency I had to correct these problems, so I took them on a retreat to plan revisions in their protocol. When I came back, I was told by my boss no one wanted to work for me. They felt I'd told them everything they'd done was worthless. I was shocked and hurt, but I realized I needed to find a more inspiring way to help them improve their skills."

*    *    *

"Women with Enneagram style Six often describe how difficult it can be to feel certain of themselves," we said of Nancy. Then we read from Nina Bogin's touching poem about maturing into oneself, "Initiation, II:"

When I walked up the road, the string sack
heavy on my arm, I thought
that my legs could take me anywhere,
into any country, any life...
I climbed the pink stairs, entered
the house as calm and ephemeral
as my own certainty:
this is my house, my key,
my hand with its new lines.
I am as old as I will ever be.

Nancy: "My father was an Episcopal Priest -- actually, he was God in our house! I don't know what his Enneagram style was, but he never asked for help. I guess I was following in his footsteps because I used to operate on the premise that I should have all the answers (I don't) -- other people always looked like they knew what they were doing, so I would just keep on working, hoping I'd figure things out. Then I'd end up blaming my staff when there were problems, thinking they were just making excuses. What changed things for me was having my daughter, who's now almost two years old. I didn't want to just 'punch it out' anymore. I began questioning whether or not I wanted to stay in a leadership role, sought the help of a consultant, and quit trying to do everything by myself."

*    *    *

Margaret, Enneagram style Two, had asked us to read from Mary Oliver's "The Journey" because it had spoken so clearly to her issues:

One day you finally knew
what you had to do and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
'Mend my life!'
each voice cried...

"How has being a helper aided you in your career?" we asked Margaret.

Margaret: "I'd quit a secure job because I felt burned out. I saw bureaucracies swallowing up money that could have been better used to help the mentally ill. While I was taking a breather, I saw a description of the county's plan for mental health. I wanted to respond but saw it as a mixed opportunity -- I was in a state of panic and self-doubt, knowing my senior colleagues and ex-bosses would not be my peers, knowing no one in her right mind would dare to be this different in the public eye. Yet I really wanted to do it because it was an opportunity to defy all the practices I knew were not working, and the severely mentally ill people who'd been abandoned would benefit. I struggled with whether to ask for the same salary male directors were getting. I also struggled with others' reactions -- they'd say things like, 'Don't take this personally, but this project will never make it!' It took me four years to get equal compensation, and six years to convince myself I knew as much as others in similar positions. At that point, I finally quit worrying that I needed to be more like them and less like myself. From that place I could speak confidently about what I knew, could sit at the table without anger and with mutual respect for our difference."

*    *    *

Darlene: "When I think of myself as a high performer -- Enneagram style Three -- I think of "hoop-jumping." For many, many years it never occurred to me that failure was possible. Of course, I hadn't put myself in situations where failure would be possible! If someone who worked for me wasn't doing the job, I'd fire them and do their job too. Later in my life I realized I'd done this as a child to get love. We lived on a farm and you worked on the farm. Exceptional results were expected by my parents but what was 'exceptional' wasn't defined ahead of time, so I worked extra hard to make sure I got exceptional results. I was finally brought up short when I fell in love with a man, hired him, and then went into my turbo 'do' mode at work and at home until this powder-keg situation blew up. as I tried to figure out what happened I was struck by how automatically I had gone into this 'do' mode. And the frightening part of this realization was the question, 'With all the doing removed, what else is there to love?' Now I'm asking, 'Hello, Self, what are you like?'"

The Play Within the Play

(from Out of the Box Coaching with the Enneagram)

The coaching relationship is a mini-laboratory for breakthroughs. Whatever inner dynamics brought your clients to coaching will most assuredly be acted out with you. And don't forget you have your own habits of attention. Always ask yourself if you're behaving in ways that help or hinder your clients' growth. Be aware that how you interact with them makes a big difference in their progress.

For example:

• Clients with Enneagram style Three seek approval from outside themselves. They typically list their accomplishments during each coaching meeting. Will you reinforce that in-the-box behavior by approving or will you help them see this habitual behavior as it occurs with you?
• Clients with Enneagram style Six seek authority and then challenge it. Will you be caught in this pattern? Will you let them turn you into an authority or will you comment if you see the pattern?
• Clients with Enneagram style Nine rely on others to provide structure. If you ask a probing question and find these clients somewhat confused, will you jump in with a suggestion or will you be patient and encourage them to start anywhere--an arbitrary choice, a set of alternatives, or even a list of what they do not want to do?

Those you coach will approach potential breakthroughs either as frightening ventures into the unknown or as potent explorations. How they move forward rests in the quality of your coaching. Transformational coaching requires you to:

1. be receptive, provide a safe harbor, listen deeply and with empathy, 
2. take a stand for your shared vision and challenge their self-limitations [this is especially important when they (or you) are most discouraged].

This quality of coaching requires devotion to your own transformation. As you learn about your Enneagram style, you can use your gifts more consciously and observe how your own patterns limit both of you. Then you can allow whatever occurs in the coaching relationship to be data for discussion.

While coaching Jean (Enneagram style Two), for example, I pointed out her retreat from discussing what she felt as a criticism from me, even though she was clearly upset. Tied to her pattern of focusing on my needs and feelings, she diverted attention away from her own.

After that call Jean wrote me an e-mail saying she felt I'd betrayed her needs (a recurring theme for style Two). She wanted to stop coaching after the next session. My first reaction was defensive. As an Enneagram style Nine I worried I might have been too blunt, not kind enough to Jean. But I managed to stay centered, to not take her attack personally.

In her next coaching session, we were able to discuss the dynamic we'd created and explore how this same pattern showed up in Jean's other relationships. During this discussion I helped her express her needs openly (difficult for style Two). When she tried to move the conversation back to me, I gently pulled her back to her own feelings. Jean subsequently decided to continue with me as her coach.

Using Metaphors in Change Work

For as long as humans have had speech, story-tellers have been respected for how their tales and poems taught and/or entertained. Harvard Business School guru John Kotter says, "Those in leadership positions who fail to grasp or use the power of stories risk failure for their companies and for themselves."

There's a time-honored tradition in change work to use stories for healing. A healing metaphor can help clients gain the personal resources and enhanced world model they need to handle their problems. Typically, though, as in the general history of storytelling, the coach decides what story or metaphor will have the greatest effect.

I've used a more client-centered approach, for example with a coach who said she always felt "like the new kid on the block" around her colleagues. I entered her metaphor by saying, "OK, I'm here with you. You've just moved in, and you're the new kid. What's that like? What are the other kids doing? How do they treat you? What are some ways you can get them to include you?" After she answered "They want to play with some of my cool toys!" she realized she had "cool toys" in her current repertoire that helped her feel comfortable with more experienced coaches.

I saw even more possibilities for metaphor work, and attended training in Symbolic Modeling with Gina Campbell. Here, instead of the coach determining the direction, open-ended questions preserve the terminology of clients' metaphors with "clean language," questions that follow the client's lead.

The next time one of your clients offers a metaphor, experiment with being completely spontaneous, playful, nonlinear. Forget about structure, forget about tools from your experience that will "help" or "coach" the person. Simply be present, and see where your client's metaphor leads both of you.

Listen to the Birds

In a powerful example of storytellng, psychologist George Burns met with a mother and her six-year-old daughter, Jessica, who'd been labeled by two psychologists as "an elective mute."

Jessica spoke freely and age-appropriately at home, but would not utter a sound to anyone outside her family. While Jessica sat on the floor drawing, Dr. Burns told her mother a story about a boy named Billy who was teased by the other children for his silence:

"That day the door of the cupboard at the back of the classroom was ajar and a feather duster protruded through the gap. As we filed into class, Billy's eyes fell on the protruding feathers and, without thinking, he exclaimed, 'Sir, there's a hen in the cupboard!' Everyone laughed, and after that Billy spoke." 

At this point Jessica handed Dr. Burns a drawing of a bird and told him it was "Tweetie."

"Who's Tweetie?" he asked.

"My canary."

Both Dr. Burns and Jessica's mother were stunned. He was the first adult Jessica had ever spoken to outside her family.

"The empowerment for her to change an established pattern of behavior," Dr. Burns concluded, "had come not just through a story, but through one told so indirectly that it was apparently being communicated to someone else."

Stories aren't just for children. A good teaching tale can reach your clients at both conscious and unconscious levels -- an "aha" accompanied by a subtle "zing."

Change Blindness

I recently tuned in to a discussion among coaches of assessment results for a client whose profile indicated he knew he was charming and likeable, but lacked depth of detail and follow-through. In spite of his self-awareness, I was concerned about his future in that company. His low ratings among peers and senior management suggested he's seen as  a "lightweight," a perception that can be very difficult to change, no matter how effective the coaching or how committed he is to balancing his influence style. I've seen change blindness on more than one occasion:

Change blindness – a phenomenon in visual perception where large changes are undetected by the viewer.

How many times have you made what felt like significant changes and no one noticed? How often, when working with clients, have co-workers or friends and family failed to observe, appreciate, and reinforce changes? This blindness occurs because others' ability to perceive something new is hampered by what they think they already know. This is often such an unconscious process they might not acknowledge their own change blindness (yep, denial of change blindness is called "change blindness blindness"). 

In a follow-up data-gathering session for a client who'd made significant changes in the previous six months, he and I pondered the fact that others I interviewed were highly focused on some problems from months earlier, even though I specifically asked them how this person is different in the present. 

A way around this phenomenon is to set clients up for success by coaching them to engage others in the process:  

“These are three specific behaviors you'll see that are different for me, and please, when you see me behaving in these new ways, tell me so I'll know I’m on the right track.”