Saturday, December 3, 2016

Coaching: An Inside Job

Take this to heart as a coach: change always occurs. You can influence and accelerate that process. Give yourself time and appreciation as you try out suggestions below that may be new to you – and remember to have fun. 

My approach to coaching is not always linear. I use examples, stories, symbolic behaviors, and metaphors. The following three principles can inform your work no matter what coaching model you follow:
Acknowledge and Validate the Client's Worldview: Transformational change is more likely to occur in a coaching relationship where there's deep rapport – where clients feel known. Accessing their inner worlds gives you both insight and compassion. Paradoxically, they'll be more open to change when they feel accepted exactly as they are. Once they have that assurance, you can help them recognize and change patterns of behavior based on subconscious, outmoded beliefs.

Help Shift That Worldview: Most people will come to you having tried to avoid or overcome something they don't like about themselves. That approach tends to block positive energy. In contrast, your clients will release energy for change when they learn to observe their patterns of thought and behavior without judgment. Such compassionate self-awareness may be enough to support spontaneous changes. In addition, there are many inventive, even playful ways to help them alter the patterns they observe.

Focus on Solutions, Tapping Their Resources, Experience, and Ideas: Sometimes a solution focus means merely encouraging more of what works. It can also mean framing the problem in the past and the solution in the present or future. Change occurs when a problem is specific enough that it can be solved, when it's seen as a positive vision for the future.
These principles are spelled out with examples in the last chapter of my coaching book. As I've mentored coaches over the years, I've also found it helps to have a concrete, how-to summary. The table below summarizes the components of coaching for transformational change. 

Skill                               Definition                                        Notes

1. Develop rapport          Acknowledge and
                                     validate client's worldview
                                     without judgment or
                                     prescription; share human
                                     to human responses.

2. Hold enlightened        Reflect second-order changes
    vision                        that occur in interaction
                                     with you.

3. Presuppose                Make statements that embed
    positive outcomes      a positive expectation,
                                     assume a desired change. 

4. Teach self-                Show clients how to observe
    observation               patterns without judgment;
                                    reinforce evidence of 
                                    neutrality and change. 

5. Use possibility           Restate problems in the past,
    language                   solutions in the present
                                    and/or future. 

6. Focus on                   Elicit brief problem description;
    solutions                   ask how solution will look
                                    (videospeak); find exceptions
                                    to the problem, ask how they
                                    do it, do more of what works;
                                    if no exceptions, create
                                    achievable steps as fieldwork. 

7. Help shift from          Identify the "X" and "Y" that are
    either/or to              apparently incompatible.
    both/and                  Explore existing parameters.

    thinking                    Ask "How can you do both 
                                    X and Y?"

8. Honor "resistance"     Use everything that happens
    as energy for             as grist for the mill, including
    change; stay in          all blocks, tasks not done,
    in flow                      relapses, etc.

9. Use right-brain          Engage clients through
    tactics                      stories, metaphors, humor,
                                    spontaneity, inventiveness,
                                    playfulness; bypass logic's
                                    censors.

10. Invent ground-        Co-create fieldwork that
     breaking field-         breaks old patterns with
     work                        new responses; take them
                                    to their edge (doing
                                    anything different, how-
                                    ever small, can promote
                                    significant change).

11. Make process           Comment on interactions
     observations             with you as source of
                                     learning about patterns.
         


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