Solificatio: A Vision of the Possible

This entry continues the metaphor of alchemy for great coaching, an invitation to coach clients toward transformational change. A key aspect of going beyond apparent needs is realizing how they've been driven by unconscious patterns, pushing them toward goals that satisfy an ego-image, not their highest potential.

Solificatio, making things real, represents moving from the lower to the higher mind. Our deep intention to change is not limited by rational thought and conscious goal attainment, but rather our thoughts are “enlightened,” literally transformed into light, a vision of what is possible.

Solificatio symbolizes helping our clients envision what's possible beyond materialistic aspirations. My client Tom's path demonstrates moving beyond the image of "looking good":

All my life, until I started doing some real work on myself, it was "how things look" as opposed to how I really am. I was living a lie: "How do I fool people?" I wasn't conscious of it, but my image, how people saw me, was more important than anything. I was a football and baseball coach early in my career, and I got a really choice spot in a choice school. Being a sports coach might be altruistic in helping students achieve something, but the raw motivation was to be out there in front--to get noticed, to have people say, "Oh, just look at him! He's a great guy!"

It was exciting, challenging, frustrating. I loved being a leader, putting my ideas into practice. It was also an area where I could have self-doubt and pretend I didn't. One of the things that was very conflicting for me was the message I got as a child that I was supposed to be good enough and smart enough to become a doctor, a lawyer, or some other professional. Something in me longed to play music at a very early age but my parents discouraged me from studying a musical instrument because "they would spend money on lessons and I wouldn't be good enough and would quit."

I did later sing and perform, initially to move through some of those inhibitions, and then I created a whole work around it for others, teaching them to feel the fear and do it anyway... to move through and let the experience teach you something different from what's in your head. I still might look good to others, but I'm getting away from the image of looking good, and just doing what I love to do. At 61 I'm also moving into community work, volunteer efforts, and this feels good and right. When I was focused on how I looked to others I was pretty much of a loner, but more and more I really enjoy sharing and working with others.

(See also Calcinatio, Solutio, Nigredo, Separatio, Mortificatio, Sublimatio, Coagulatio)

Solutio: Releasing Buried Emotions

(Second in the series on alchemy as metaphor for great coaching)

Imagine your relationship with clients as a dynamic vessel within which all the elements of transformational change are generated. To have the necessary presence for deep change to take place, we might ask ourselves:

How can I create the space for clients to step into the fire (calcinatio), free buried and repressed emotions (solutio), discover and pursue an illuminated vision (solificatio), hold to the course when shaken by disorientation or despair (nigredo), dissolve negative beliefs (separatio), "kill" their ego attachments (mortificatio), find a new spiritual perspective (sublimatio) and soul power (coagulatio), and become more whole (coniunctio)?

Following my blog post about calcinatio, now we explore solutio:

Solutio, the second order of alchemical practices, uses the purifying and dissolving properties of water to return to its most basic state the whitened ash left from burning away our ego-based illusion of reality. This dissolution works on the heart to release buried emotions.

Some of your clients, especially if they're in helping professions, will find it particularly difficult to acknowledge and explore their own needs and emotions. All of us, though, have elements of self-image fed by pride that form barriers to self-knowledge.

As my client Doris said,

It's been tough for me in the journey to find behaviors I don't like about myself. I took a serious step away from trying to fix everybody's life around me. That was relatively easy. The hard part is taking charge of my own life, loving and accepting myself and other people for who we are. And it's O.K. if I'm screwed up.

The way I'm most different is with my daughter. I used to fix everything because I didn't want her to hurt, I didn't want her or her kids to do without. I enabled her to avoid reality, and I've not done her a service. So I've gently eased out of that, though it was a struggle. She'd say, "Mom, my daughter forgot this, can you run it by her school," and I'd say, "No, honey, I'm sorry, I'm late for work."

If something comes in my face a couple of times and I think I've dealt with it, but it keeps coming back, I know I haven't dealt with it! I've used journaling and meditating to help me get a clean slate, stay centered. It's a journey and I know I'll slip off the path, but not quite as deep anymore. Being able to recognize these patterns when they come up has been such a gift. I always know that no matter what happens, I'll get through it.

(See also Calcinatio, Solificatio, Nigredo, Separatio, Mortificatio, Sublimatio, Coagulatio)